Well this is it, after today i wont probaly be logging on to the fourm anymore. All i am good for is being a pain in the *** and now i feel i must depart for good. I will probaly pass by time to time to post parts for sale or purchase things but thats about it ....

Life ******* sucks so much; I don’t even know where to begin. I am just fed up with the bullshit. If I have typos or misspellings anywhere then so be it because I don’t feel like re reading this.

Life ******* sucks for me, day in and day out I spend my ******* time at home or at work. I eat, sleep, work, stressed, work, sleep, and eat. That is all I do. I agree I don’t have a ******* life, and at work I spend countless hours surfing the net, and when I get home that cycle repeats itself, I looked at every single car on Car domain. What type of **** is that, I used to have friends but once I found out that most of them where fake to begin with I just gave them the cold shoulder and they backed away. So it’s not like I have a good drinking buddy or anything like that to hang out with on a daily basis.
I found out weeks ago that I might have Prostate Cancer, and I haven’t told my parents yet because they would freak out. Also I am so close to going in debt and struggling in keeping the Protégé 5 and managing my bills. My car payment has been late twice and that’s ruining my 689 Credit rating! I can’t even apply for loans or anything now that sucks. I get declined. The problem is that I am to lazy, and I work my own hours but I only work when needed, i am the Network Admin and when the network is smooth I just go home. I don’t get paid for the hours that I am not in. So my checks are low. I could come in and work 80 hour weeks, but if they network is stable I look at the ******* Internet all day! That used to be fun but now its so ******* boring! I am also extremely antisocial at work and just period so I work in silence and go home in silence because I don’t speak to my family as much. That leaves me with way too much time to think. Which draws me to think so negatively all the time because I can’t think of anything positive.
I can just work 80 hour every two weeks but ****, my eyes ******* hurt looking at the monitor all day, reading all the ******* post in the forums.
The reason people hate me at work and smile in my face then talk behind back is because I am given to much power and the Ceo’s love me, so they hate and mumble ****. But **** them. Just because I am doing good doesn’t mean they should hate. I don’t have much friend’s ether GO FIGURE. So I spend most of my time alone, just staring into space.
I attempted to see my high school old friends from around the hood. They acted as if they didn’t know me saying I think I am to good for them, I worked my *** off, studying 6 hours a day to make it this ******* far. Just because them ghetto bastards refused to pursue there future and drop out or smoke and drink all day that’s them. I brought my dads gun because I figured that this might happen. And my nightmare happened. Some dude said, “Bitch get the **** out of here”. And I said **** YOU!
About 12-15 dudes stood up about to jump my ***, old friends I knew stood up also. All because I wanted follow the positive route in life. Must I be hated and treated like ****. So I pulled the gun out yelling some crazy **** and got in my car and left. I know if I go around there again I will be jumped royally. But why does someone have to go through such rash actions.
I have so much stress, I have to raise funds, and my car sales business failed twice and I am 1000’s in the hole.
The IRS is going to kick my *** also because I am not paying taxes, just trying to pay off some bills, so at the end of the year I will be OWN3D! This ******* sucks.
The love of my life is also gone, and we were supposed to get married and ****, have a future. Now she ******* gone and I spent at least 3 Grand on her in the months time we where together. That’s why I say **** love **** LOVE DAMMIT! I know I had hard times but she said I was a negative influence. She was the major key to my happiness. If the love was real she would of never left my side. This ******* sucks to be this stressed at the age of 21. My job is also ******* stressing because they expect me to know everything don’t even have the ******* money to ******* further my education. Bank account stays in the negatives. Last week it was negative 375. I am so close to just saying **** it and letting all my anger out.
There is tons of other **** going on but I will stop at this point my **** list.
**** the world ****.
You wonder why I am ******* crazy this is why.

If you had these many problems, no friends, close to being bankrupt, no family hardly, no life.
You would be insane to.

But I have cancer anyway, I cant wait ti’ll it takes effect so I can just burn in hell in peace ****.

 

move to colorado.. you can come kick it with me and all my friends. we love trouble just as much as you.

 

Life does suck. I feel as though I work to live and live to work. No woman in my life to look forward too. I live in a cramp one bedroom that is uncomfortably warm in the hottest months of summer only because I can't afford my electric bill. I am divorced, 31, and still working a bullshit no pay worth a **** job. I like my job, but it doesn't cut it when paying the bills. I have no life outside of work and when offered to do something, I usually come up with an excuse to back out because the truth is, is that I have no ******* money to do any thing. I can't even go out and by a car magazine to enjoy. My only outlet is work (Yeehaw!) and my computer at home (via internet access). My car is over 2 years old, but only has 8900 something miles because I have no where to go. I feel like I am getting no where in life. Occasionally my parents have to help me out financially so I can buy food to eat (so I can work) and I feel so damn guilty doing so. I should be in a real career making real money, but no here I am. I have a 2 year degree and was going to school towards a computer related field, but couldn't afford both me and my now ex wife to get through. The plan was to drop out, let her finish and start in her career, and go back once one of us is making a little more money that we could get by. Guess what? It didn't go that way. As soon as we got divorced a couple years back, she some how has money to buy a 3 BR/2BA house on 3 acres with a pond, has 2 horses, 2 dogs, and a cat. On top of that, she has a barn, picket fence, and a brand new V8 Jeep Grand Cherokee with towing package to tote her horses around in. New hardwood floors throughout, new appliances, etc., etc. Life sucks! I just hope that there is no where to go but up. I am just praying it will go up really soon!!

MisterT

 

ouch... that hurts guys. I feel for you both. I could write some stuff about how things will be better and everything will work out ok but we all know that isn't always the case.

All I can say is I hope things get better. Lost_concept I've always enjoyed your posts and sense of humor. I hope you find something in life to enjoy and that the cancer is a little bump in the road of your life. Hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones that makes it through with a minimum of pain and suffering.

Good luck guys.

 

I am sorry to hear about that man ......

I hope that everything gets better for you MisterT



This **** sucks but if you keep your head up then everything should turn out well.

I was going to end it all a while ago but that is the cowards way out.

First i put a gun to my head but didnt do it, second time i pushed the Pro to 120 and when the highway spit into two directions, i kept going straight and was about to crash into this concrete divider but i swured out the way at the last moment.

A cop seen me do this also and just continued to sit there, he was probaly sleeping or something

But i wont do the coward way yet, i will see how things turn out. That is the last resort
I dont know whats wrong it just like i dont care anymore about anything, i didnt even have a fear or be all emotionally distressed or anything i just figured i was going to goto hell anyways, just figured i go now. lol
Sounds crazy but i dont care lol

 

Dude I hate to rain on your pitty party, but everyone goes through hard times. I myself am broke, I am married and have 2 kids, one I pay child support on from another relationship. I have a lot of bills and 2 car payments and 1 income. Which that income does not cut it. So my advise is to pick yourself up from the floor, and get out of the house and make some friends, take a walk, something to get your mind off of being alone. Sorry to be an *** but sometimes that is what people need.

 

Hi lost_concept...

I've been there and done that... Many moons ago I found myself in your position with the added problem that I was given the boot by my then partner. So I tried to end it all by driving off a cliff onto a lake by my parent's house... But I was so clumsy I hit a tree instead...

I'm glad I wasn't successful... Since then I've met a bunch of incredible people and life has made a 180 degree turn for me.

Just hang in there, don't try to fix everything at the same time... Just start with the easy things and you'll start to see the rewards.

So you're a network admin too... Yeah, things get boring every now and then. Can you do other things in between calls? In my case, I'm learning Linux and MySQL, on my own. My aim is to move our database from SQL Server 7 to MySQL... Just for fun and my own benefit.

Sorry about the prostate cancer diagnosis. But methinks you're too young for that. I'd get a second opinion just to be sure. And if the biposy agrees, there are new treatments that don't need surgery. Radioisotope implants are the new rave.

What I mean is that you hang on... Just remember that the night is darkest just before dawn...

Best wishes...

 

Lost_Conceptz, I know you feel as though no one likes you, but you have friends here who think highly of you and appreciate all the help you have given in past posts. Life does suck and I too have done crazy **** and thought of putting it to an end, but would back out at the last minute. You control how you feel and it's up to you to get yourself out of this rut and seek out people for friendship. Maybe some people at work don't like you and maybe they have a curtain of problems draped over their faces that they tend to give people blank stares not realizing that they were just asked how are you. I see it all the time working in a hospital. A lot of **** people have running through their minds. A lot of personal ****, professional, and even petty **** that they seem to be oblivious to every thing around them. Alienating yourself isn't the answer. I mean, every once in a while you have to withdraw, but to stay out of site is going to drive you nuts! You are not crazy! Every one goes through tough **** and handles it differently. What bothers you may not bother me and vice versa. The thing is, is that if **** is bothering you that bad, then have the power to change things for the better. Go out and do something fun. Go out of the way to make someone's day. When I help others, I step out of myself and my problems and worries, and it makes me feel good, like a high for helping some body out. I am glad you posted here so your friends (including myself) can help lift you up! Take it from some one who hit rock bottom. There is no way, but up right?!

MisterT

 

Do what I do at work when I have extra time. Write the world's biggest PERL script ever. Can keep you busy for days...

As for the rest of it, all I can say is hold and be a stubborn *******. Few years ago I lost a good job (think I was 19 or 20) and a good woman about the same time. Really hurt at the time, I was on my own and couldn't afford my bills. Ended up borrowing a little from my family and plodding along. Just when life looked like it was about to go to ****, I won a hundred bucks in the ******* lottery. It was just enough to keep my bills for another month without having to move back in with my rents. Found a better job a couple of weeks later, about a month later met a wonderful woman. Saved up some money, moved to Houston, found a better job, got married, and finished school. If I hadn't won a stupid lottery ticket, I may not have met her or finished school. Persistence man, don't let the game win.

 

Sorry to hear you're so depressed, dude... Trust me though, things will get better. At the beginning of the year I was really depressed, mostly because I never did anything. Most of my friends still lived where I used to, so I hardly ever got to hang out with them.

What you need is a hobby, something to look forward to after you get back from work, NOT something on your computer. I decided to start working out at the Y. It's been about 6 months, and while I'm by no means ripped, myself, and others around me definately notice a difference. People tell me every week that it looks like I've been working out. Anyway, in turn it gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day, I can meet new people, and it makes me feel good about myself as well.

In any case, that's just an example... Maybe you could take up roller-blading, or running, or hiking, just something to do out and have a good time.

As for the work stuff, try and challenge yourself... While the network may be smooth running, try and learn something that you've always wanted to do. For instance, I've always wanted to learn how to do login scripts to perform mundane tasks like mapped drives, and even software updates. Impliment a company BB or forum, like protegeclub for employees to keep track of important bulittens, stuff like that. It sounds corny, but it always makes me feel good to know I've learned something new and used that to make people's lives easier, or something work better. I like being a know-it-all. That could help with the mundane tasks at work. Learn something new, do something to help the end-users, make their lives easier, thereby making them happy, which in turn makes the administration happy. Even if you're already in good with the administration, it's always good to let them know you're doing a good job.

Anyway, best of luck to you dude, if you ever need someone to talk to, my AIM is in my profile. I know how it's like. Things will get better. I've been having a crappy few weeks, but looking at it, it really doesn't seem all that bad, I just feel like ****.

Hope everything works out, dude.

 

Don't think for a moment your alone Shawn. EVERYONE is this world has problems. Doesn't matter if it's some millionare celebrity or Joe Blow. Recognize your week points and try to improve on them. Don't worry about others. A real friend is worth more than a thousand phony ones so don't count how many friends you got. I totally agree that life does down right suck at times, but what can we do? Just make the best of it

 

damn Lost, I ain't think **** was this bad for you. I can't even imagine what you are going through. All I can say is the road your chose was the right one. **** them otha ****** who can't get there **** together the legit way. You took the difficult route and you made it. I'm n the same boat wit you when it comes to friends. I don't have alot. Alot of them that I grew up wit are either grindin on the streets, six feet deep or who knows. Folks like us who try n better our selves get shittin on, when we try n come up from the worst conditions. Now a days I just say, **** it and live for myself.

Sorry to hear you are havin finaicial problems and you owe sum bills. No doubt, that is recoverable. There is a way and there is ALWAYS an answer to a problem. We just gotta find it. Sooner or later you will find a way to handle your bills. Just stay positve yo.

On the real, I'm sorry to hear you might be dianose wit Prostate Cancer. Just hearing this is getting me a lil scare and got me wanting to go to the Doctor n get checked up. I know African Americans are at a high risk to getting it but I ain't think this **** could hit us THIS ****** EARLY!!!! If you are ( GOD forbid ) seek treatment fast.

 

would you guys please watch your language, you can express your fealings with alternate words. Only cause little ones could be viewing ...
I am sorry to hear that some of you are going through ruff times and just trust in GOD who is your #1 savior or your #1 savior is who ever you believe in respectively.

Lost_ Concept . is that girl your talking about that girl you came to new york with. Well if you only knew her 1 month it may not have been love it could have just been lust that was grabbing you buy the nuts and squeezing you till you felt free.....

Bro forget the hood. You have moved on. From this point forward you have to think of yourself. Which is why your X-boys told you to leave when they saw you come around. Put the taxes out of your check back to the proper way, and work on paying all of your payments the minimum that you can. If you don't have to sell your car then don't , but sit down , get all your expenses and just plan everything down on paper and do some figures.
You have to figure that it may take you the next 2 to 10 or whatever years to pay **** off, but you need to lax yourself and think ... Life is all about a game plan, your next move is like a fork in the road, it has two choices and both sides have consequenses...

Worse gets to worse.. **** get another job.. another networking job or open your own networking company.

Never fall of your ball always figure a way to get back on.

Also Women are not permanent, and they feal the same way about men, so don't wrap your life in one and don't Base everything around them , Let them Base everything around you and Let them let you get on your feet and get your education and a good job before them ...

Just Remeber "IN LIFE IT'S EITHER YOU OR THEM.... DON'T FRIGIN LET IT BE YOU "

This goes to all of you guys that posted in this post and to all who will continue to post
Bruce Scott
Moderator

 

"Lost Concept", I wish you the best of luck.

 

"Lost concept" Are you a freakin drama queen or what? Pick up your skirt, grab your nuts (or whats left of them) and get your act right. I dont think you have collin cancer or whatever, I think you need to pull your head out of your **** cavaty. Buck-up and stop the pity party ****. Its kinda dumb, especially when 99% of what happens to you in life is a direct result of a earlier choice YOU made.