i just herd this one...


at school in 1st grade a teacher named Mrs. jones is asking every student to come up for a word in the alphabet. who ever raises their hand (starting with "A" has-to come up with a word starting with it)..

mrs jones calls on jimmy, he was the first to rais his hand.. mrs jones asks"o.k jimmy whats the word you came up with?" jimmy replies with "***"

Mrs jones says " thats not very polite ill give you another chance, how about 'B'?"

jimmy replies with "BITCH" the class starts laughing, Mrs Jones tells jimmy he cant play the game anymore... the kids stopped raising their hand since "C" except jimmy.. thinking that their cannot be any bad words for "R" Mrs Jones calls Jimmy... Jones says " O.K. Jimmy, what do you have for the class.. now the letter is "R"." jimmy replies with


" BIG *** MOTHER FU***NG RAT"

 

nice... Ill get you one

 

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Little Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Little Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes." "Can he see?" asked little Johnny. "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be **** outta luck if he needed glasses."

 

An old man was sitting in a rocking chair on his porch. When this kid walked by with a roll of chicken wire.
Confused, the old old man said, "Hey there Sonny, whatcha got there?"

The kid replied, "Chicken wire. I'm gonna catch me'self some chickens!"
"Ha! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" the old man said.
"Oh yea!" said the kid, "Well I'll be back in an hour with 50 chickens!"
So the kid walked away, and the old man just chuckled.

One hour later the kid walked pass the old man's place with 50 chickens! The old man was amazed, but he thought it was beginers luck.

The next day the the old man was sitting in a rocking chair on his front porch, when the kid walked by with some rolls of duct tape.

The old man asked, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The kid said, "Duct tape, I'm gonna catch me'self some ducks."
"Ha! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!" the old man laughed.
"oh yea!" said the kid, "Well I'll be back in an hour with 50 ducks!"
So the kid walked away, and the old man just chuckled.

One hour later the kid walked by the old man's place with 50 ducks! The old man was amazed, and he thought this kid had some talent.

The next day the old man was sitting in a rocking chair on his front porch, when the kid walked by...

"Whatcha got there today boy?" the old man asked.
"Pussywillow" replied the kid.

"Hold on a sec, let me go get my hat!" said the old man.

 

Hahah, these are great...I'll have to think of a few...

 

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesnt matter, they just sit in the dark and cry about it.

 

Whats the differance between a b@$#h and a hoe?

The hoe will do every one and you, a b#%@h does every one BUT YOU!

 

Today's Chicano word of the day is "Harassment"
>
Paco's parole officer asked him to use the word "harassment" in a
sentence.
>
Paco smiles and says...
>
"Orale Vato, my ruca caught me in bed with mi sancha, > > pero that's
o.k. because HAR *** MENT nothing to me!"

 

damn this is turning out good

 

hic-billy words "arsonal"


to the father of billy
use this in a sentance..



o.k... uhhh... your daughter is known around the block, but arsonal beat her prices!!

 

a man walks into a bar joke


a man walks into a bar and order chilly.. the clerks says sorry son, we done ran out... a guy next to him says " you can have mine, i didn't touch it due to my stomach ache.." the man gladly takes the chilly and starts eatin and eatin... then stop to notice a dead mouse in the chilly, and throws up into the bowl of chilly... the man next to him said "thats as far as i got"

 

You know your a redneck when your riding lawnmower has twice the miles your 1978 pickup truck has

(tried to pull a jeff foxworthy i dont think it worked)

 

you know your a red neck if you try stealing a jeff foxworthy joke

 

yea i dont know if he did one like that but he must of

 

damn!!!!! you must of whored it up... 329?